Sunday, April 10, 2011

Why the World Did Not End on May 21

Many people were surprised when the world did not end on May 21 as predicted by Trash Camping. With 60 million listeners to his syndicated radio program, how he be could be wrong?

True, his earlier prediction years before had failed to bear fruit, but Trash Camping had explained that the reason for his earlier failure was due to the fact that he had not yet learned the intricacies of long division. That, and the fact that he had not understood some of the more difficult words in the Book of the Holy Idaho, i.e., words of three syllables or more.

To be fair, Trash had not predicted the end of the world - he had predicted the Great Rupture. This is the event where the skies open and the Holy Idaho reaches down and snatches all his chosen ones up to live with Him in the Colender in the Sky. From there they would have a real fine view of what would then happen on that poor world, which is that some really Class A shit would hit the fan followed by the actual end of the world six months later.

As we know, the Rupture did not take place and therefore the End Itself was apparently also postponed, that is if it had ever been on the agenda of the Great Potato.

The explanation was amazingly simple. And again, to be fair, how was Trash Camping and his listeners to know that the day before the Rupture, May 20, was Great Prayer Day in the Happy Little Kingdom of Denmark. True, most of the Danes use this holiday for a chance to have a long week and party a lot more than pray - still, it was enough to put a monkey wrench in Trash Camping's calculations.

On the other hand, it is quite possible that the Great Potato never reads the Book attributed to His authorship, let alone know anything about the calculations of fart-brains like Trash Camping and his ilk.

Yeah, that's a better explanation!