On Horse Races and "Uppity" Chiggers

Well folks, since I've gotten over at least some of my disgust, I guess it's time to get back to the Quadrennial Horse Races.

The "Horse Races" are something quite peculiar to the Third Galaxy -- we have nothing like it in our more happy and saner world. Believe it or not, these contests are how the citizens of the Unified State of Arrogance "choose" among the approved aspirants as who will actually be allowed to run as candidate for, respectively, the Dumbrat and the Repugnant parties for the office of Prez of Arrogance.

Against all odds, at least the odds the television bobble heads gave, it now seems that Bulimo Charisma will soon lock in the candidacy for the Dumbrats. However, as our hero from "Blazing Saddles" leaves Pillory Flintstone in the Texas dust, what was even then obvious is now showing its ugly face. As we know, the Repugnant smear machine and echo chamber is in the grasp of a visceral hate for both Pillory and her husband, Bill "Big Dawg" Flintstone.

As Pillory's chances for grabbing the brass ring now seem to fade, Bulimo will attract the hatred double up as sure as a golf player, alone on the thirteenth green, holding his solid steel golf clubs over his head during a thunderstorm will attract lightning.

Bulimo's wife had the misfortune to say something honest the other day, which is something to be avoided in Arrogant politics. She said that for the first time in her adult life she was really proud of her country. What she meant, of course, is that, for the first time in a long time, people -- especially young people -- were taking an interest in the Horse Races, as if they felt they could really "make a difference".

She shouldn't have said that. In Arrogant politics, one must always be "Proud of Arrogance" -- it is a corollary to the other Pillar of Truth, "Supporting the Troops". It matters not what "the troops" are doing in the name of Arrogance -- killing a million civilians in Wudda-Wreck or three million peasants during the War to Save the Dominoes mean nothing. What matters is "Supporting the Troops".

In fact, "Supporting the Troops" is so important that criticism of the fact that the "troops" have been sent into action with second, even third rate body armor and transport is defeatism amounting to de-facto treason!

Therefore, you will understand why the great bobble-head pundit and television media monster, Bill "Faloofa" O'Really jumped all over Bulimo's wife saying, that he would, "Lead the lynch mob" if it proved true that she had in fact had said what she had, in fact, said.

In our happier and, relatively, saner world, the casual observer might not understand why anyone would take offense at such a humorous jibe.

You see, for more than a century, lynching was the ultimate tool in "keeping the chiggers down". "Chiggers" refers the descendants of black slaves. When they were freed as a consequence of the Civil War, the blacks became economic competitors to the poor white class of farmers. The ruling elites used this fact to sow mistrust and enmity between the whites and the blacks and this keep them both down.

When times were bad, for example when the price of cotton fell, lynching increased.

But what is a lynching?

Basically, a mob grabs somebody and hangs them -- but that is only the headline. When "chiggers" were lynched, there were all sorts of beastly foreplay -- flaying, eyes gouged with corkscrews, genitalia cut off and the victim having them stuffed in his mouth, nothing was too outrageous to suffer upon an "uppity chigger".

The point, is that lynching is not a parlor game and not something to joke about.

If I can find it in the footnotes to the Absolute Truth, I will next post some observations that Ichabod Rain made about growing up in Poosah City.