Thursday, June 22, 2006

Cut Mr. Bush Some Slack, Please!

I’m not one to complain, but I really wish people would get off Mr. Bush’s case and just cut him a little slack.

He’s only been on the job for going on six years, so give the guy a chance! He’s bound to get something right, I mean even he can’t fuggup everything he touches, can he?

All that stuff about him not being properly elected -- forget it! The 2000 vote in Florida was rigged/fixed/stolen? Forget it! The 2004 vote in Ohio was rigged/fixed/stolen? Forget it! Mr. Bush is not just the President any more, get it? 9/11 changed everything, get it? He is now our Commander-in-Chief. He’s our Commander-in-Chief and you darn well better not forget it!

Him being our Commander-in-Chief kind of puts us all under his command, how hard can that be to understand? That was lots better than hitting a crummy old trifecta – heck, for all we know maybe that was the trifecta he was making those funny jokes about!

Yeah, yeah, there’s nothing in our Constitution that specifically states that when hijacked planes fly into a couple of skyscrapers the President automatically becomes Commander in Chief. But you can’t expect the Founding Fathers to have thought of every thing when they did their best to lay the foundation for a stable democratic republic.

As everybody knows, the Bible supersedes the Constitution. If only we could find a Bible verse or two which supports the Unitary Power of the Executive going automatically into effect when planes fly into tall buildings... All we need is to find a couple of obscure verses nobody can understand, then get us a couple of them high-powered TV preachers to just squeeze and twist them Bible verses until they yell, “Jeeezuus!”

True, the Founding Fathers tried to put an iron rod reinforced brick wall between Church and State. They were afraid that money grubbing, power hungry religious figures might try to take over the country. But they didn’t have preachers back then of the quality, honesty and rock-solid character of the God-Committed money grubbing, power hungry Christians that we have today! So where’s the problem? I don’t see any problem, do you?

The Founding Fathers were intelligent, well-educated and highly literate people who knew their history. They were well acquainted with the fact that kingly and religious powers had bloodied Europe for centuries. However, they lacked the advantage of having the Scofield Bible to guide them and never had the chance to read the “Left Behind” books, that God-Awesome well-spring of inspiration to love your fellow man, that is those of them who are saved. Can you imagine? The Founding Fathers never heard of the Rapture! As a matter of fact, neither have most of the Christians who ever lived – now that is food for thought!

When Mr. Bush, as he signs a bill into law, states that he isn’t going to abide by the law it unless he happens to feel like it – that upsets some people who come on with loose talk about “impeachment”. Don’t they know that impeachment was designed for serious things like lying about getting a blow-job?(!)

Besides, impeachment only applies to Presidents. A Commander-in-Chief is more than a “President”. He’s a “Decider”. What deciders do is decide, which is really hard work, so deciders are decidedly not responsible for their deciding, which means they can’t held accountable, which means you can’t be impeached.

Stop your whining and complaining – stop it! The way some folks are carrying on you’d think America was turning into some sort of nightmare from the Third Galaxy.

That is ridiculous! Things are a lot worse in the Third Galaxy than they’ll ever get here – I hope.


Anonymous said...

Article II, Section 2 of the Constitution of the United States:

"The president shall be commander in chief of the army and navy...."

Chuck Cliff said...

Exactly, Anon, but this is subordinate to the civilian role of President.

The president and much less the CIC does not have the power to declare war.

The point of the satire is that many have fallen into the habit of referring to the president as "our commander-in-chief", something by no means discouraged by the present Whitehouse.

Final kicker, CIC is a good translation of the Latin "Imperator", from which the term "Emperor" derives.