Thursday, September 07, 2006

The Secret Prisons are Empty!

[It was kind of wierd, I knew with my rational mind that I was listening to the President of the United States, but kept grabbing my self in thinking I was listening to Ronald Rexona...]

I'm bringing all 14 prisoners we had in our secret prisons to Git-mo.

See, we had some secret prisons and some secret prisoners. But now I've emptied them so you can see there really wasn't all that many. So, what was all the fuss about when I said we didn't have any secret prisons or secret prisoners? See, saying that we did when I said we didn't was almost kind of like treason.

Anyway having them prisoners helped us fight the War on Terra.

These 14 guys told us lots of stuff when we did things to them that wasn't torture but made them tell the things we wanted to know so that we would stop not torturing them. There has been no terra attacks on us which proves the good job we're doing in fighting terra.

I might send some more bad guys to the empty secret prisons if I need to to fight terra. So, if one of these nosy journalists pokes around and finds there are a bunch more secret prisoners, that is only because I decided to do some deciding again.

These 14 bad guys are going to stand trial and be found guilty before a military tribunal just as soon as Congress passes a law making it legal. If Congress doesn't pass the law I want, I'll find them guilty some other way.

But more important, if Congress doesn't pass the law we want, we're going to call the Democrats wimps who are Soft on Terror, who don't have the resolve to do what a man's gotta do to keep us safe from the terrorists.

That's about what I got from listening to bits of the speech given by Mr. Codpiece and some of the expert analysis given by talking heads in split-screen interviews on American television last night.

Later, I saw this CSI in Miami program and it struck me all of a sudden that there is this theme running through all of these law enforcement series. Law enforcement, although it does a good job in catching bad guys, is hampered by the judicial system in general and laws and lawyers in particular.

Maybe that's why hearing Bush sometimes seems so surrealistic to me -- I get the message, "I could do a better job if I don't follow the rules I don't like."

It's not a conspiracy, it's just the sort of incompetence created in situations where otherwise competent hacks have to grind out series after series that will titillate us and keep us glued so that we'll sit through the next block of commercials or remember to vote like we are supposed to at the next election.


Ingrid said...

Amen chuck! Lawyers (and no, I am not one) are usually portrayed as slimy people who stand in the way of 'true justice'. Unless you watch Law and Order and its spin-offs which shows a whole lot more complexity, good and bad, dilemmas on all sides. Law and Order and such are considered such a big deal in this country (being originally from the Netherlands living in TX), that I think people in general accept authority so much more quickly than a European does. Thank God for the blogosphere because I started to feel quite demoralized that the joe schmoos around me are just not paying attention to anything much at all, especially MSM. But, I kinda knew that when I grew up in Holland. Btw..great post on bloggers against torture..

Chuck Cliff said...

Ingrid, it is an interesting idea you have there, that Americans are more likely to believe authority than Europeans -- I think you may be right, my wife, who is Danish agreed without blinking an eyelash.

If there is something to this idea, I suppose it has to do with European history which has been much more painful than American.

You might like today's post Civilised Tigers which works with a parallel theme as to why we are such bloody creatures.