Arrogant Prophecies -- Da Falze Profits

The opening line of today's installment of the "Arrogant Prophecies" refers back to "Gifted Introduction" (A box of chocolates, Arrogant creams, all wrapped up in a holy roller coaster scream).

This was, according to the 3rd level footnotes in the Absolute Truth, 21st Edition, was the unknown poet's original title to his troubling and often prescient collection of 16 line poems he composed some thirty years before the ascendency of the Supreme Hole of Arrogance.

In this particular poem the author also makes use of an unusual diction which he calls in his notes a pseudo-vernacular. He states that it was used here for satiric or sarcastic effect. He names the target of his satire the elements of Dominionist theocracy in society which helped to bring about the formation of the United State of Arrogance.

Before she mutated into Arrogance, for more than two centuries one of the pillars of that fair Land of Freedom's Groundlaw was the separation of church and state. All that time, many of the strongest supporters in maintaining the necessity this separation were prominent religious leaders.

But all this changed in the years before Ronald Rexona made his appearance. Although there is considerable disagreement as to when the change began, most agree that it was sometime after the "War to Make the World Safe for Whatever".

Some point to when law was passed that the phrase, "In the Spud We trust" should be stamped on their money. Others claim it was when it the words "One nation, under Spud..." were added to their Pledge of Allegiance. In any case, the movement began to gather after the debacle in which the "War Against the Dominos" ended

Personally, I suspect the change began with the rise of the Godbiz and its most virulent forms, the sister movements of Dominionism and Reconstructionism.

The Godbiz arose when certain preachers learned how to make use of the new medium, television. They were able to reach enormous audiences and raise large amounts of money. The inflow of cash changed the Godbiz into an industry which then learned to use marketing ploys and strategies similar to those of the MegaCorps and the Bankers of Illusion. In fact, some say that the three are to some degree but facets of the same developments.

In order to understand Reconstructionism and Dominionism, one must know that from early on the Peelers believed they had a "Commission from the Holy Idaho to convert the world to their religion. The Mashers, in fact, resembled the Peelers in this way and this was at the core of a number of conflicts between the two belief systems. These conflicts were often quite violent and were one of several things instrumental in inflicting the Ultimate Wars upon that poor world -- the catastrophe from which the Third Galaxy only recovered because of the intervention of the Alien Veggies.

Reconstructionism was the efforts made to rewrite history, claiming that the Land of Freedom had arisen only by the intervention of the Great Potato so that a land could rise worthy of fulfilling the "Great Commission of the Holy Idaho". This in turn, was grist for the mill if the Dominists whose goal was to convert that land to a theocracy where the laws of the Spud would be supreme to the laws of men in general and the Groundlaw in particular.
Oddly enough, the Mashers were also infected with similar ideas, and this also contributed to those troubled times. On top of this, both Mashers and Peelers held beliefs that these terrible events were foretold in their scriptures, the Book of the Idaho and the Readings of the Masher.

In any case, the unknown poet considers all of these, whatever beliefs they professed, to be false prophets -- and that of the worst sort, that is how they understand the term themselves.

All along the Holy Roller Coast
their preachers preach and prophesy and proudly boast.

They toast the Holy Roller Coaster Toast,
"Raise your glasses and wiggle your tongues -- the Holy-Goast
wurks thru us and you'd bedder believe
or you'll be sorry when the Kingdom comes on tee-vee"

"Repeat these prayers after me
and send us money or die in sin and poverty."

"Everything we do you see
is based upon our own infallibility."

"It's all writ here in the Holy Book
and to make sure everyone unnerstand we took
upon ourselves some liberties
in translating it to fit our personalities."

"All hayl duh Holy Dhree
in ids dhrinidy: I, Myzelph, and MEE!"

_______________________________
The use of a sort of a pseudo-vernacular here was intended as satire of those who want to establish Dominionist theocracy in our fair land. To further this goal they make allies with the most corrupt figures in politics as well as the Bankers of Illusion and the other MegaCorps.

In fact, these are the very people who turned religion into Godbiz, marketing the Idaho like he was a baked potato! Everything they touch turns into a parody of the reality.