Tuesday, November 27, 2007

The Truth is a Conspiracy Theory...

We now take a closer at how the Bankers of Illusion assisted Ronald Rexona as he slouched towards his ascendency as Supreme Hole of Arrogance and soon thereafter de-facto ruler of the Third Galaxy from his throne of excrement and rusty bricks.

First, we should go back to the beginning when he was selected as president of what was then a Land Most Fair, a Land of Liberty and Enlightenment -- a Bright City Upon the Hill...

True, ethnicity and what kind of spoon you were born with up your nose could circumscribe the amount of liberty you could actually hope to realize and enlightenment was sometimes taken care of with a 15 watt naked light bulb hanging from the ceiling, but, hey, any light is better than the darkness which was to come!

Six years after Terrible Tuesday when twenty tons of bullshit from hijacked hot-air balloons was dumped on the Truth Towers, a poll showed that 61% of the people believed that the Codpiece administration had "ignored warnings" about Terrible Tuesday...

There was nothing surprising about that statistic! This opinion was easy to defend with any number of provable facts from many independent sources: it had been administration policy from day one to downgrade the importance of the terra threat from Al Qube and Ahsawyah been-lately.

However, when that poll was made public, the media whores of the Bankers of Illusion hopped up and down like eye-popping, carpet-pissing Chihuahuas decrying the "belief of Arrogant citizens in conspiracy theories". It mattered little to them that holding on to a "theory" when the "facts" supporting it are provably false is the hallmark of a "conspiracy theorist" and not the other way around.

It is almost unbelievable that at that time in his career, when only 25% of the population thought that Rexona was doing a good job -- mainly because of the obvious failure of his adventures in Farawaystan and Wudda-Wreck -- that the Bankers of Illusion used their bobble-head puppets on television to proclaim that the invasion and occupation of Wudda-Wreck was now a success. This was done with "spin", "talking points" and non sequitur conclusions: except for the occasional car-bomb violence was down; fewer decapitated bodies tortured with electric drills were found floating in the rivers and people began to once again eat fish from the once so bloody waters. Therefore, obviously, the Will of the Decider had Prevailed and Victory Was Ours!

Meanwhile, back in what was soon to become the United State of Arrogance, firemen were learning on how to spy on citizens and look for potential terrarists in the form of speech and written material expressing "hatred of the Arrogant Way of Life" or anything else that looked suspicious.

There was of course no connection with these and other coincidental developments, such as the way that immigration agents "discovered" that they didn't need to have a warrant to bust down doors to a home if they "reason to believe" that some of the occupants were "illegal". It was all a due to serendipity and the odd chance or two that, when Monstrous Monday occurred, the Codpiece discovered that he had struck the trifecta and soon found that dictatorship actually was easier as long as one was an asshole.

When the detention camps were full of the sort of people who couldn't stop thinking that all this was due to "some sort of conspiracy", for a number of reasons, public disapproval of the Supreme Hole was no longer a problem.

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