Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Spinning the Truth into Lies

The news flapping in the Third Galaxy from the rooftops of the Bankers of Illusion was that Uran, a major spoke in the Axis of Evil, had stopped trying to produce Highly Enriched Uranium which could be used to make a Weapon of Mass Immolation -- already in 2003!

Did I say "news"? Well, what's news depends on how long the newspaper spoon is you use or whether you suck your news through a straw...

First of all the NIE report in 2003 maintained that Uran was not only trying to make HEU but trying to figure out the trick of making it go "bang!". In 2005 and 2006 material from a "stolen" laptop was used in slide show presentations to "prove" that the Uranians were trying to make a bomb. Valuable intelligence of this sort was used to convince the Uropeon countries to take part in the billion dollar boondoggle of a missile defense system against atomic warhead tipped missiles from "rogue" states -- like Uran...

However, all this contradicts the fact that the IAEA has never maintained that Uran was going after a bomb or that they were having any success in making the highly enriched material, to make a nuclear reactor you need 3-5% enrichment, to make a bomb, you need HEU -- 90-95%.

But hey, the IAEA was right about Wudda-Wreck and its evil dictator, Sadly Poosane's, possession of Weapons of Ultimate Destruction, so what could they possibly know?

Second, anyone who has made an active effort to be informed knows that Uran has had great difficulty in getting the centrifuges on-line in sufficient number to begin producing even lightly enriched material in more than insignificant amounts.

Third, we know that in 2005 the Grand Poobah of Uran issued a fatwa or religious decree that it was not permissible for a Masher to attempt to acquire let alone use atomic weapons. Jeeze, if we hadn't lost our collective minds we wouldn't need a Grand Poobah, Pope or Holy Piss Ant -- we would know from our own moral compass that we're talking about the kind of crime against our common humanity that used to be called the "sin against the holy spirit, for which there is no forgiveness..."

However, what does our Great and Wise Decider, the Codpiece-in-Chief say? He says, see, I was right all along, Uran was a threat then, they are a threat now and they will continue to be a threat -- if they should ever acquire a nuclear bomb. (Exactly why they should be more of a threat than other nuclear players in the Third Galaxy remains a mystery!)

To be frank (and somewhat incensed) this line of pseudo-thought was taken from the same pile of bullshit as: I see you stopped beating your wife, which is very good. But I figure your wife wants a divorce anyway and, if I suspect your you're going to start again, I reserve the right to shoot you, without warning to remove your threat to planetary peace...

Still, the bottom line is that, for a number of reasons, the long imminent attack on Uran will, probably, not take place as planned -- and that is a good piece of news!

On the other hand, just because a few players are showing some resemblance of sanity, should not lead us to conclude that the Third Galaxy won't go to hell in a hand basket...

No comments: