Friday, September 11, 2009

The Short Short Path to Total Complete Enlightenment

I've been away for a while, doing deep research into the Absolute Truth, 21st Edition and return now with a report of what that enigmatic fellow, the unknown poet of the Third Galaxy had to say about the Short Short Path...
Well, dear hearts, I finally did it -- I took the short, short Path to Total, Complete Enlightenment.

As you know the Method is quite simple: bend over, grab your right ear with your left hand, your left ear with your right hand and (briskly) pull you head out of your ass.

As I suspected, it does hurt a bit -- however, when one has acquired Total Complete Enlightenment, one does not say, "OW!" or curse and swear -- being detached and overflowing with love and bliss, the Enlightened One does not fuss over things that amount to small skeeter bites...however:
"OW!GAWDDAMN!THIS!SHIT!HURTS!@!#!&!" somehow slipped past my lips.
However, being Totally Completely Enlightened, I realized at once that if people can hear you five blocks away it's okay for an Enlightened One to scream. In my case, I received not only complaints from my neighbors but from people I've never seen before. In fact, there was a notice in the Poosah City Gazette that people thought that a wounded animal had escaped from the City Zoo.

That said though, take some advice from a Totally Enlightened with a sore bum --before taking the Short Short Path, make some serious effort to deflate the empiric ego -- pulling his inflated ego out of his ass is what made the Path so painful for this fellow.


TechnoBabe said...

What are you doing these days, I see you aren't writing in your blog much, are you writing someplace else? I hope you are well and the family too. We are getting cooler mornings here and remembering our first winter last year here in the mid west. We decided not to plant a garden because the critters would get to it, and we do enjoy the critters.

Anonymous said...

An insightfull post. Will definitely help.

Karim - Mind Power

Chuck Cliff said...

Well, yes, in fact, I just noticed the comment today! Something happened this Spring and I'm still digesting it -- that's the reason for the last post -- actually, the Short Short Path is not all it's cracked up to be. When you've had your head up your ass so long, it tends to spring back and you have to start over again. There is an easier way, but because it's so easy, it's really rather hard...

All we got out of our garden this year was a couple weeks worth of potatoes. O wait, do apples, cherries, pears and stuff like that count?

TechnoBabe said...

Of course apples, cherries, pears count, you are fortunate to grow and harvest some food.