Torture is bad, it was bad yesterday, it is bad today and it will be bad tomorrow. Torture is bad if it is a punk dictator we support or the President of the
Torture is bad because at heart of the American Dream is the vision that there are basic human rights – rights to “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”
With out human rights, in the end, there is no humanity left!
And now, we return to yet another scene from the Third Galaxy. After his release, he was able to tell something of his story to foreign papers. The following is an example of the sort of attention he received in the mainstream media of the Arrogant States:
"The whole point of the
The above “quote” is a typical example of the kind of inflammatory hearsay and uncorroborated statements served up as if it were truth and certainty by irresponsible elements of the press outside the Arrogant States.
This quote is presented as fact and attributed to an individual supposedly released after two years confinement in a so-called “Mobile Torture Wagon”.
First of all, official records show that Mr. Palooka was “detained” for little more than two weeks. This claim of a two-year Detainment is as much a fantasy foster as the rest of the ridiculous allegations he has made to gullible persons associated with foreign “news-agencies” to which the title of “journalist” can hardly be applied in any meaningful way.
Secondly, there is absolutely no record anywhere that a “
It is possible – though it must be through some gross misunderstanding – that this disgusting term refers to something else entirely: the Mobile Interrogation Aggregate On Wheels – also known as a MIAOW.
However, a MIAOW is not a “torture wagon”!
These vehicles were designed and built to facilitate interrogation in a mobile fashion in the often difficult environment of a newly declared War Zone.
Interrogation is not torture. Our MIAOW units were designed for the careful, scientific and, most important, humane gathering of important intelligence through a series of ongoing conversations with a few selected detainees.
Since these conversations are carried out by trained and highly qualified personnel, there can be no question of mistreatment or abuse of basic Human Rights.
On the other hand, although their rights are respected, we may well ask what kinds of people are detained and what is it that necessitates Extended Coercive Interrogation?
Interrogations are necessary and critical to the gathering of intelligence needed to be able to effectively fight and eventually win the War to Eliminate the Need for War Zones. Are we supposed to just sit back and wait for terrorists to send us a post card?
Some silly people have seized upon the undeniable fact that Requested Individuals are usually detained at night. There is nothing strange about this! We are not trying to hide anything which could not stand the light of day!
It is for the safety of the RIs that they are usually detained at night before being rendered to a MIAOW or a PIF (a Permanent Interrogation Facility). The fact is that everything humanly possible is done to ensure the safety and rights of each and every RI, before, during and after interrogation!
It we detained Requested Individuals during the day, or let them go home while Interrogation was in Progress, they would obviously be in clear and imminent danger of grave bodily harm or even death.
Think: if an RI is actually in possession of Valuable Information (and be sure, they may not even know it themselves!) if they know something, some little, but important brick in the puzzle which we need to unravel the skein of an ugly terror spider web and it was common knowledge, the ruthless henchmen of kingpins such as Been-Lately or Boo-Boo Wankerman would likely kill both them and their families.
Therefore it is best for all concerned, the guilty as well as the innocent, that they be constrained to a MIAOW or PIF until completion of interrogation proceedings. When they are finally released, there should be no problems. If they had any information, it is in our possession – and the terrorists know this.
The terrorists also know that the RI’s haven’t “squealed” or “ratted” on them. Our methods of interrogation, while humane and using nothing that even vaguely resembles real torture are both scientific and very effective.
We mentioned before the question of innocent and guilty and in this context, and now we must also ask: who is this Jamal Palooka?
This “Jamal” a rather strange fellow, a misfit who, some years ago, while in prison for a minor narcotics crime converted to Masherism and changed his given name from Joe to Jamal. Turning his back on the Great Potato, he embraced the muddled and plagiarist teachings of that false prophet, the so-called, “Mashed Potato”.
As freedom of religion is one of the corner stones of democracy in the Arrogant States, we do not, of course, hold that error against him...
But when we discuss the questions of guilty and innocent, we think it only fair that honest persons know the kind of person Mr. Palooka really is.
Shiftless, often unemployed, committed to the teachings of a strange sect which, although many Mashers are decent, law-abiding citizens, has produced many terrorists. In turn, terror and the threat of terrorism are what have necessitated the establishment of War Zones in places like Guanocow – where Mr. Palooka was living when brought in for interrogation as an RI.
One of the guiding principles of Arrogance is that one is “innocent until proven guilty”. God forbid we should ever relinquish or deny this or any of the other high ideals on which Democracy in based!
That said, these people who shout so loud and seem to be so concerned about the “rights” of Mr. Palooka, have they ever paused to take a moment to consider the nature of the charges and crimes of which Mr. Palooka has never been accused?
True, Mr. Palooka has never been formally accused of any wrong doing other than the minor narcotics crime mentioned before. On the other hand, just because he has been charged with or proven to be, does not mean Jamal Palooka is not, in fact, a hard-core pedophile!
The crimes we are not mentioning here are far worse, in fact, at the end of the day, the indisputable fact is that some crimes are so horrible and despicable that “unspeakable” is hardly a word one would care to use.
Therefore, although not actually charged with any crime, the crimes of which he could have been charged are so evil that not being charged with them is enough to leave a lasting and disgusting odor clinging to both his name and reputation.