Monday, June 05, 2006

A Report from Guanocow

Uh, if you scroll down to the right, you should find a "blog roll" -- I joined it because I thought that maybe it might make me famous.

The posibility that I might become famous was what made accept the fact that I have to be against torture for the entire month of June -- hell, June only has 30 days, so I guess I'll survive. Anyways, to join this thing you have promise to post a least one post about torture.

What follows, has little to do with torture or this world, for as we know, torture doesn't exist in our world -- I had to go all the way to the Third Galaxy to get these stories. First we hear about Jamal Palooka and how he was "detatined for coercive interogation" by a squad of Synchronized Soldiers...

Report From Guanocow (Squad leader report regarding SS action evening April 6, Guanocow War Zone... )

We entered the designated area at 2100 hrs., quickly and in good order disengaging from our transport modules. The squad synched and prepared, per MERDE instructions, to initiate detainment procedure of our target – a Requested Individual, class A.

As there was no response to our lawfully made request for free entry to the address, we initiated a standard forceful entry sequence into the apartment. That accomplished, we found two individuals inside, MERDE immediately identified one of them as the Requested Individual.

When we announced our lawful intention to detain the RI, the other individual in the room became visibly agitated, began screaming and making motions which MERDE icon’ed to us as being the beginning of an action sequence which, with 86% certainty would culminate in an attempt to physically attack and, if possible, injure a squad member.

The individual was of course immediately taken down by a squad member who temporarily immobilized it with standard Improvised Techniques.

As other squad members were immobilizing and preparing the RI for transport to the local MIAOW, a door to another room opened suddenly. MERDE icon’ed the figure coming through the doorway as a Potential Terrorist. The PT was quickly and efficiently neutralized with a burst of flachettes.

The RI was delivered to the MIAOW in the usual manner to prepare it for Coercive Questioning at a later time. The night’s mission was completed without squad casualty or other incidents worth mentioning.

(signed) Sgt. Arnold Schatzenbooger

1 comment:

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