Things are so much easier to understand when seen from the viewpoint of the Third Galaxy!
When Ronald Rexona refers to the Great Potato and talks about paving the way for the Return of His Son, the Holy Idaho, everybody knows what he is talking about.
True, nobody can be sure that Ronald Rexona himself knows what he’s talking about, but that really doesn’t matter all that much. He is the Decider and knowing too much can make it hard to make the kind of decisions a Decider needs to make – that is, firm decisions, decisions one sticks to no matter how harshly reality butts with uncomfortable footnotes.
A real Decider “stays-the-course” and never, never “cuts and runs”. All a real Decider needs is gut-feeling and knowing that he is doing the Will of the Great Potato.
Sooo, when I rambled yesterday about “Birth Pangs”, poking fun at Ms. Condi and her boss, Mr. Codpiece, I was a bit in doubt as to whether my dear reader(s) would understand the significance of “End Times” and “Rapture” babble in this context.
It would be of little significance if it was just a question of another Jonestown or Heaven’s Gate cult of a couple dozen or even a thousand poor souls whacked out on yet another alternative reality cooked up by a kook in a funny suit.
Like you, I’ve opened up for the news in the morning and heard how they all died drinking the kool-aid and it always hurts to learn that life has been once again tossed away like an empty beer can. It hurts even more to think of the ones who loved them.
But, in the bigger picture it’s a small thing, a ripple in the metapsychic interstices. It’s not something that could rip a hole in the very fabric of existence, which is exactly why this strong illusion about “End Times”, “Rapture” and “Second Coming” is so dangerous when people who want to push for a World War III are ready to tap into such madness – they’re tickling the dragon’s tail! (I wish I was making this up, but the echo machine has been on this ever since the first “made in the USA” laser guided bombs started falling, here’s something of a tally of the pundit choir collected by Bill Berkowitz)
A very large majority of Americans are walking around with this idea that we are living in the End Times and a large part of them more or less believe that, before the End, there will be a Rapture.
What is “Rapture”? It all depends on which of the many false prophets you’ve been taken in by, but the general idea is that before the End, all those who have a real cool relationship to the Holy Idaho, will be transported up to Heaven where they get to sit in comfy sofas with Jeeezus and munch pop-corn while watching the birth pangs pang.
In order to sell WWIII to the American people you need to convince them that Forces of Evil are aligned against God’s Holy People. Of course you don’t want to put it that bluntly, but if you get your code words right you can win an election.
After that you can do whatever it is you think the Great Potato wants you to do.
My unemployed angel from the Third Galaxy urges me to deliver this warning which supposedly got straight from the Spud of the Great Potato: