Monday, July 24, 2006

Birth Pangs in the Middle East

[with apologies to Johnny Nash for the rip off]

I can see clearly now, the [birth] pangs are gone
There is nothing more to stand in our way
Gone are the bad guys we had to fight
It’s gonna be a bright, bright, brand New Middle East
It’s gonna be a bright, bright, brand New Middle East

I almost fell out of my rocking chair Friday morning day hearing her cuddly voice explaining that the shit raining down from the skies in the Levant these past two weeks is BIRTH PANGS which will give rise to a new Middle East.

For what is worth, here is her money quote:


“What we're seeing here, in a sense, is the growing -- the birth pangs of a new Middle East and whatever we do we have to be certain that we're pushing forward to the new Middle East not going back to the old one.” -- Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice, 21 July 2006


(Here's a photo of Ms. Rice showing how far the Middle East has dialated...")

If you google “birth pangs” and middle east, you’ll find over half of the hits refer to the “End Times”, the “Rapture” and the “Second Coming” and crapola of that order.

Was it merely a slip of phrase, a coincidence? Maybe, but then again maybe not. We know that her boss, Mr. Codpiece, at least pretends the Great Potato has chosen him as the Man of Destiny whose job it is to pave the way for the Second Return of the Holy Idaho.

Maybe it’s just an act to drum up the base now that we have elections coming on. The problem is that for a lot of people this is a part of their perceived reality. What starts as a ploy can take on a life of its own.

On the other hand, Condi and her boss are right about something. Iran and Syria are just going to have to learn the new house rules. They have to stop supplying the Hezbollah with all these modern, high-tech weapons, those F-16s, laser-guided precision bombs, tanks and 155mm howitzers – offensive weapons such as these can do damage like this:

[photo from as-Safir]

The Hezbollah won’t admit it officially, but everybody knows that they have a stockpile of between 100 and 150 atomic bombs. What is going to happen if they decide to use them?

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