Illegal alien threat to storm the US!
Border Patrol and Coast Guard are on high alert!
Minutemen fear being “swamped” by illegal alien flood!
President Bush fully prepared for dramatic photo-op!
The storm, “Ernesto”, is suspected of intent to attempt entry the United States in the guise of a hurricane. His name alone would qualify him as an illegal alien and the fact that he's first stopping over at Cuba means that we cannot exclude that this is not in someway connected with a terrorist plot instigated by the communist regime.
“We’ve seen a lot of tricks before, but this really wets the cake!” said government spokesman, Rusty Blowhard, “but we expect the Border Patrol and the Coast Guard to foil any plans of this, uhm, what I must, at the risk of sounding a bit politically incorrect, call a real wetback.”
“There’s been talk that he’ll try to come ashore on the west coast of Florida,” continued Mr. Blowhard, “but we suspect he may try for the soft underbelly of America and drift in over New Orleans.”
We heard from an unnamed White House official that the fact that Ernesto is now being called a “tropical” storm is yet another example of how the liberal press continues to not take national security seriously. We also learned that it would be a bad choice for him to try for New Orleans, as the President is already on his way there for a photo-op in connection with the anniversary of his big sister, Katrina’s visit last year at this time.
“Mr. Bush is much better prepared this year if Ernesto decides to show up anywhere near Louisiana.” said the official, “The President is prepared to lift one, two or even several sandbags, as long as the cameras keep clicking.
“Something Mr. Bush has learned from one of the 65 books he has actually read this year is how to tune his guitar, so he’s itching throw in some hot licks to keep up the spirits of refugees should the Superdome need to be used for rest and recreation again like last year.
The picture below shows how Mr. Bush plans to entertain with a rendition of “How high’s the water, Mommy?”
The grimace on the nice lady’s face is because he has not yet grasped the concept that a G chord should be taken on the third and not the fourth fret. Just one strum on the guitar is enough to make a grown woman cry, as you can be seen in the picture.
“However, the decal of the President’s Seal is guaranteed waterproof, so we’ll have no problems there!” said the unnamed White House official.”
Note: the satire (if you think you noticed any) stops here.
The basic problem at the root of the New Orleans/Katrina disaster is an environmental one which can be summed up in one word: WETLANDS.
The deposit of silting over thousands of years, these marshy swamps and mangroves along the coast acts as a natural buffer, or “speed bump”, against wind speed and storm surge.
Three miles of wetland lowers a storm surge by more than a foot.
The degradation of the wetlands is complicated and has been going on for several generations. Its causes can almost all be attributed to human intervention and mismanagement.
The disappearance of the wetlands really doesn’t have that much to do with the Bush administration. This doesn’t mean that anything this administration is likely to do is likely help in this or any environmental matter.