Sunday, August 13, 2006

Playning the (Ultimate) END Game

My goal today is to take a closer look at what Mr. Joel Rosenberg is selling and some basics on how to play the (Ultimate) END Game and make a lot of money selling the end of the world…

A man does what a man has to do so I put on my goggles, tinfoil hat, 36x sun-block, said my prayers, doused the soles of my shoes with holy water and ventured onto the website of Mr. Joel Rosenberg, speaker to presidents, advisor to prime ministers, and “almost a prophet” (according to Joe Scarborough)

I dove right into his web-blog which is modestly proclaimed as an “Analysis of the latest events in the US, Israel, Russia and the Mid-East”. The opening phrase I saw, worthy of a seasoned FOX pundit, starts with the pungent question, “Is Iran planning an apocalyptic strike on Israel…” ?

Ah, such a talented and time dishonored way to start a smear or inject a meme into public discourse without having to take any responsibility if somebody calls you on your bullshit, “Well, I didn’t make a statement, I just asked if the fellow was still beating his wife. What harm is there in a question?” All of which translates to, “I was just rumor mongering, any harm in that, huh?”

Here is my take on the meat [more like gristle, actually] of Rosenberg’s spew:

It seems some say the End is coming and that fellow in Iran, you know their president, the one who seems to be a few cards short of a full deck – well, some say he is going to start a war. It seems that Iran, some say, already has a number of atomic bombs and is going to take out first Israel then America. That is why some say that Iran started this Israel/Lebanon conflict in the first place – in order to test Israel’s resolve as well as her military capabilities! As a matter of fact, Mr. Bad Iranian is equivalent to Hitler and liberals are equivalent to Neville Chamberlain.

At least, that is what some say.

Now that is one clever fellow, that Iranian guy and I sure am sorry I said he wasn’t playing with a full deck!

It sure is good that Mr. Rosenberg took time from his busy schedule to go to the White House and warn Mr. Codpiece about these dangers which some say the CIA and the other so called intelligence agencies seem to have missed completely!

Now that he has real good information on what is really happening in the world I’m sure the Commander in Chief will do the right thing and make a real super duper Decision!

If you want to go take a look at Mr. Rosenberg’s website, please go ahead. You’ll have to google yourself to find it, not because I have anything against Mr. Rosenberg and his, uh, ideas, but I think maybe you need to exercise your fingers some – at least that’s what some say.

A word of warning, his site plays some really lousy background music, the kind that makes you grind your teeth. I suppose that is meant to give heathens, pagans and other assorted un-believers a foretaste of what “gnashing of teeth” means. Anyway, turn off the loudspeaker on your computer if you go there, that’s all I’m trying to say.

The collage I used yesterday and put up there near the beginning of this post is from one of the of the 2,520,000 hits I got googling “End Times”. I paste it here again for your edification and to give you a few pointers in how to play The (Ultimate) END Game.

First, take a look at the figure at the bottom center of the collage. Do you see that shadowy figure in the middle of the flag of the European Union? THAT is none other than the Big Boogey Man of the (Ultimate) End Times Game. If you can guess his name, you get 666 points!

None other than Mr. Beast himself, it is he who will come before, after or at the same time all the real good, card carrying Christians get Raptured up to the Big Colander in the Sky to sit with the Great Potato and clap hands for joy as all the rest of us small spuds down here get either mashed or french fried or both at the same time by His Son the Holy Idaho!

But why the European Union flag?

(I was hoping somebody would ask, so I had to do it myself!)

It is an indisputable End Times Game Basic Fact that if Mr. Beast does not appear as leader of the United Nations he will lead the European Union. One or the other, it doesn’t really matter as both of these organizations are plots by Satan in his own devilish personage to deceive us and cheat Jesus of as many wretched souls as he can get – and according to the contract he’s got from the Old Man, it’s almost all of us.

On the other hand (and in the End Times Game you need more hands than a Dancing Shiva), on the other hand, Mr. Beast could also be a leader of the Muslims, because, as all good little End Times gamers know, the religion of Mr. Mohammed also came from Satan.

As a matter of fact, Mr. Beast could come from anywhere, be the leader of any country, except of course the United States. If you even ever think, even for a split second, that Mr. Beast could be an American or be the Leader of Freedom and Democracy, you forfeit your Game. You go straight to hell, you don’t pass GO, you don’t collect two hundred dollars and it won’t help to yell “Jesus!” because you are DAMNED, dammit!


Anonymous said...

And Some Say...Well dear Cousin, the reality factor of the U.S. of Amnesia can be traced back to Frank Zappa's song of 1973, called The Slime. More present day than in 1973. Take a peek and a maybe a listen.. What greater power other than the Greai Idaho, is there than the FCC.. Mr. Zappa writes:
I am gross and perverted
I'm obsessed 'n deranged
I have existed for years
But very little had changed
I am the tool of the Government
And industry too
For I am destined to rule
And regulate you
I may be vile and pernicious
But you can't look away
I make you think I'm delicious
With the stuff that I say
I am the best you can get
Have you guessed me yet?
I am the slime oozin' out
From your TV set
You will obey me while I lead you
And eat the garbage that I feed you
Until the day that we don't need you
Don't got for one will heed you
Your mind is totally controlled
It has been stuffed into my mold
And you will do as you are told
Until the rights to you are sold

Nuke Watcher / Baltimore, MD.

Chuck Cliff said...

LOL, and then there's:

What will you do if we let you go home,
And the plastic's all melted,
And so is the chrome?

Other than that though, I suspect that being able to quote Zappa does NOT allow you to advance in (ultimate) END Game -- in fact, I think you have to back a couple of spaces and do Community Service...