Thursday, October 26, 2006

Instant Democracy

Even over here in Denmark we can hear the sound of stripping gears as the Repugnant Echo Machine tries to change its spin.

I was amazed to hear Mr. Codpiece Himself say, "We never said stay the course".

Like Mark Twain said, there are liars and damn liars. There are also goddamn liars. You can take your pick.

Hell, even the Prime Minister of Denmark, Mr. Anders Fogh, has been agog with talk about how we need to "change our strategy". Asked by a reporter if he had been told to change his tune by somebody in Washington, Mr. Fogh lied right into the camera lens as driblets of sweat trickled down his forehead and said, "No".

Anyway, it reminded me of this little recipe I cooked up some time ago. It seemed pretty straightforward, a cakewalk you might say, so I don't see how anybody could be so incompetent as to screw it up.

Instant Democracy!

123 Brand Instant Democracy
-- now: with new, improved Spin-86!

Tired of your old-fashioned, oil-rich, Dictator-Land that never behaves like you want it to?

123 Brand Instant Democracy will turn it into a brand-new Democracy-Land!

It's just as easy as: ONE...TWO...THREE!

ONE: add two heaping spoonfuls of 123 Brand, stir in one cup of disaster along with a pint or so of blood (don't be afraid to use more -- it just adds to the texture and improves the taste as well!)

TWO: cover with Bradleys and generous handfuls of corruption -- season to taste with deception and lies.

THREE: place in a hot-air oven and heat for a couple of years on the Front Page News until it rises to Elections; lower the temperature to Back Page News for a couple of years and

-- voilá! -- your brand new Democracy-Land is ready to eat!

123 Democ is a delicious dish which, because of the new-improved Spin-86 ingredient, can be served to almost any public*

* For best results, 123-Democ should be served to a public which gets its primary news from cable television and national networks. Publics which get their news from internet sources should be avoided. These kinds of people tend to react to 123 Democ with raucous raspberries and/or comments like "Yeah, right! What's next? You gonna sell me the Brooklyn Bridge?"

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