Sunday, July 01, 2007

The Holy Idaho, Spud of the Great Potato

It's difficult to say anything certain about Holy Idaho -- some go so far as to claim that he is not an historical figure, in fact that he never existed.

Frankly, it doesn't seem very important to me, it's like the fellow in our world who "discovered" that William Shakespeare had not written any of the plays attributed to him! Instead, they were written by an entirely different person whose name was -- Bill Shakespear...

Or take the story about the fellow who "discovered" Joan of Arc had suffered from a form of tuberculosis which infects the brain. This "explained" her visions! Perhaps, but it didn't explain how she conquered the half of France...

Historical records are great for finding out about kings, queens, emperors, popes, princes, generals -- all the miserable crew who drag us ordinary slobs through the mud and blood of history. However, historical records aren't all that good a source for learning about the hopes, dreams, lives and deaths of all us who have had to suffer through the history inflicted upon the poor common human being.

The only fact worth noting is that there came to be a set of four books in the Third Galaxy which claim to describe the birth, life and death of Holy Idaho as well as many of the things he supposedly said and taught.

If the truth be told, there are, or were, hundreds of books and writings all claiming to tell the "truth" about Holy Idaho and his life and teachings. A cynical person might even be inclined to remark that writing stories about the Idaho formed a literary genre of the time.

A few centuries after the time of Holy Idaho, for a number of reasons, many of them quite political, all of these books were rejected except for four which were included in what came to be known as the Book of the Holy Idaho. Along with a few dozen letters and diaries of those who claimed to follow the "peelings" of the Idaho, this came to be the sacred text for those in the Third Galaxy who call themselves "Peelers".

We who have the good fortune of living in this sometimes all too real world, may find it hard to understand the beliefs of the Peelers in regard to Holy Idaho. For example, they say that the Holy Wind of the Great Potato caused Idaho to appear in the patch without being planted by anyone! Furthermore they say they believe that Idaho is the only besprouted Spud of the Great Potato!

All four of the books in the Book of the Holy Idaho, those of Mark, Look, Mathew and John*, make these claims. A cynically inclined person might think that this was the reason for them being included in the Book.

This could very well be the case, for the fact is, one of the rejected books, Tom's Book, has many of the exact same or similar sayings of the Idaho, but is silent on how he came to appear in the potato patch and doesn't tell about any of his magical tricks. Those who make their living from Godbiz will tell you this is because "Tom's Book" was written by a man "not inspired by the Holy Wind".

Well, as a cynic might say, there are all kinds of wind!

Still, there tantalizing statements in "Tom's Book", such as:


Split a piece of wood; I am there. Lift up stone, and you will find me there

Take a telephone book, was it made by the Great Potato, the Telephone Company or inspired by the Holy Wind? If it helps you call the people you need to talk to, what does it matter? If the numbers are wrong, throw it into the fire!
More than one commentator in the Third Galaxy maintains that the story about the death of Holy Idaho is a commentary and parable upon the story of Broken Wing and the "Binding of Laughing Boy". I hope to return to this most interesting conjecture at a later time.

______________________
* The reader may wonder how it can be that the names of these four books are alomst the same as those of the four Gospels in our Bible -- you must remember that the Third Galaxy is parallel to our own and it is the nature of parallel things to be well, parallel. In any case, this information is all gleaned from the 21st Edition of the Absolute Truth -- you must believe that these are not things I make up out of my imagination!

2 comments:

NUKE WATCHER said...

Crazy Bird, you have hit the Jack Pot yet once again..
Please, while you are discussing and educating us Peelers and Mashers about the Holy Idaho, kindly deliver to us, the Third Galaxy version of “The Creed”.. I am sure once the outline can be made public, an entire Liturgy may then proceed with, the First and Second Readings, a Paslm followed by the Gospel, prior to the actual sermon.. Also, if you would, please include a Children’s, Sermon to comply with the “new” contemporary services, we Martin Luthers, clamor for each Sunday.
As we wait and watch the Revelations of this planet, unfold before the disgruntled Lemmings in lockstep….we remain vigilantly yours,

NUKE WATCHER,
BALTIMORE, MD.

Chuck Cliff said...

I'll do what I can Cuz, but you must realize it is difficult to grasp the Absolute Truth in one mouthful!

Also, all them footnotes is enough to give a fellow a headache!