Monday, July 02, 2007

About Damnrats and Repugnants

[Once again I try to write about things I have gleaned from the 21st Edition of the Absolute Truth. I apologize if my observations are somewhat disjointed -- it is only recently that I have been granted access to these records after my former contact, an unemployed angel in the Third Galaxy was suddenly sent on a secret mission...]

I am often asked*, how it could be that Ronald Rexona, an obvious buffoon of the kind that thinks it hilariously funny to ask somebody to pull his finger and then cut a fart when they do -- how such a funny fellow could get to be the Supreme Hole of Arrogance and therefore, for all practical purposes, the absolute ruler of the Third Galaxy?

Indeed, how could it happen to the Lady of Light and Enlightenment that she became, well, she became what she became, that is: "The Fat lady"; or "Madam in Her Fat Car"; or "She Who Sits Astride the Simonized Leopard" -- a dear child has many names -- how did this happen?

It's a long and twisted story of betrayal of trust and decency, of the decay of a "Citadel of Truth" and a "Nation Under God" to a pot of piss.

One of the reasons was the rise of the Megacorps, incredible concentrations of money and power and their mutation into what, in essence were Immortal Persons, virtually above the law in a way no ordinary mortal could dream of let alone hope for.

The Megacorps entered into symbiotic relationship with Political power, donating enormous sums of money to political campaigns, for the land was still a democracy in the sense that elections were held and ballots were counted, more or less -- often much more less than you can imagine!

However, even when ballots are properly counted, two elements are needed: a well-informed public and access to being able to vote.

The Bankers of Illusion saw to it that the public became both politically ignorant and apathetic. As a special form of Megacorp, the interest of the Bankers was in money and concentrating the power of mass media in as few hands as possible. At the time of the Ascendancy of Rexona, more than 95% of the media was concentrated in 5 Megacorps.

I wrote that voters were apathetic -- this is a truth with several modifications and footnotes. True, many voters were looked upon the political shows and circuses up to an election in much the same manner as one goes to a sports event and roots for ones favorite team. On top of that there were, in effect, only two teams, the Damnrats and the Repugnants. That there were only two teams led to further apathy on the part of the voting public which, as I wrote before, was poorly informed.

Finally, in the final few elections the Repugnants cheated and kept a heavy thumb on the scales in such a manner as had never been seen before in that fair land, at least not on a national scale.

People from ethnic groups or geographical areas who were deemed likely to vote for the Damnrats were hindered in various ways. They were purged from voting lists, challenged at the polls and given "provisional ballots" which were afterwards rarely counted. Also, people who had to vote in the "wrong" precincts, found long lines because of few voting machines or machines that "broke down" and many decided or had to leave before casting their votes.

All in all, in the last elections before the Lasting Emergency to Protect the Groundlaw from Terra was declared, between 5 and 6.5 million votes that would have gone to the Demrats were excluded before any votes were counted! This was over 5% of the votes actually counted!

Did I mention voting machines? That is a story in itself!

Most ballots were counted by machines and the people who made the voting machines were, by and large, heavy contributors to the Repugnant Party. There was one fellow who developed a voting machine which left a paper trail, so that recounts were possible. However, he was unable to get any of his voting machines installed, especially after he was killed when his car ran off the road for some reason or other.

A cynical person would snicker, but if there was any ever any evidence of skullduggery, it is not in the footnotes to the Absolute Truth to which I have access.
* With the number readers I have, the observant reader might wonder how I could have been asked even once, let alone "often asked" and thus assume that I am being rhetorical or violating my poetic license. The fact is, I have been asked many times by the voices in my head -- it's not for nothing that I am known as The Crazy Bird!

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