Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Regarding the Name, Rexona...

Many incorrectly assume that the name "Rexona" means something like "king". The error lies in thinking that it was derived from the Latin rex. However, "Rexona" was, in fact, the name of a popular brand of deodorant soap sold in the Third Galaxy. The name therefore refers to something special about the nature of Ronald Rexona's amazing career.

Seeing that his poor world's energy resources were growing short, instead of using his country's enormous reserves of wealth, intelligence and creative energies to find viable ways to work their way out of the impending and inevitable crisis, Rexona initiated a series of endless wars of imperial hegemony -- and the people called him a "Peace Maker"!

Born with a silver spoon up his nose, this man who later called himself the "Decider", was a mediocre student who got into prestigious schools on the basis of his family name and connections. During the War to Save the Dominoes, connections, once again, got him one of the few slots for training as a jet pilot in the National Guard. He later failed to meet up for physicals because it would have revealed his use of hard narcotics -- and his connections, again, fixed this for him. The last year of his "service" he was, in effect AWOL.
All of this and much more was covered up and never allowed into the mainstream media. When Dan Blather, a major TV speaker tried to break the AWOL story, he was fired in disgrace. He was, in fact, "ratfucked" by Rexona's operatives (that is the word they themselves use for such a hit-job).

Later, when, through his connections, he was "selected" president by a corrupt court decision, he loved to be called Commander in chief, Decider and prance about in funny uniforms.

He failed at every business venture he ever undertook (and they were many!). His history was one long string of faulting on obligations to anyone who trusted him with money, power or simple trust. When a governor, he signed a record number of death warrants, laughing and sneering as he did so. He was the monster who, when giving the orders for the illegal and disastrous invasion and occupation of Wudda-Wrek, clapped his hands and giggled, "Boy, o boy! This sure feels good!"

No matter what the fellow did, no matter what deep doo-doo he got himself into, no matter how much he wallowed and rolled over in it, he always came out smelling like a fresh bouquet of roses -- and that is why "rexona" was the perfect name for him.

It is beyond understanding how this man of gibberish, this fountainhead of incompetence and incoherence became the absolute ruler of the greatest nation the Third Galaxy had ever known.

Within little more than decade after he held the reins of power, he transformed that land known as the Lady of Liberty and Enlightenment into a Fortress of Arrogance, a Madam in a Fat Car.

4 comments:

buffalo_ken said...

well now it is up to the citizens to use the soap boy's blatant disregard for life as the first ingredient of a cleaning agent that ultimately returns the land to liberty......or at least this is how it could go......don't you think....

Peace, Ken Hausle a.k.a. "buffalo_ken"
kjh-es.com

NUKE WATCHER said...

The “Codpiece” has taken the Third Galaxy to an all time low, in all the Galaxies.

We simply need to only look back to the events of the 1960’s and ponder the morphing of this civilization, over the last 40 years. The “Predators” (Corporations) simply use all the Rexonas as their “Paid Prostitutes” through the negotiations of the “Pimps” (Lobbyists).. End result .. well lets say, when the president of a country just outside Wudda Wreck, can put into perspective the general feelings of the entire planet toward “The Commander In Grief”, we as a culture trying to survive, need to rethink the two party system for the 300 million and growing.

Nuke Watcher
Baltimore, MD.

Chuck Cliff said...

Ummn, Buffalo_ken, I think I understand what you are saying between the lines. A major point in my thought is that violence, although at times unavoidable, is never to be prefered as it almost always creates more difficulties than it appears to resolve.

Chuck Cliff said...

Well, Nukie, if you think the Codpiece has reached an all time low, you ain't seen nothing yet. This roller coaster only goes down.