Monday, October 15, 2007

Coincidence Theories

Coincidence theory is a most fascinating discipline!

With this fine tool we can explain almost anything that simpler minds and weaker souls might find very strange causing them to spin strange scenarios involving all kinds of skullduggery and conspiracy!

A few examples:

That the Reichstag Fire in 1933 led to a state of emergency and Hitler was given the dictatorial powers he lusted for -- that was a coincidence!

That so many progressive and liberal personages like Martin Luther King, three Kennedys, John Lennon, Paul Wellstone (a 4th Kennedy, Ted, was supposed to have been on Paul's plane!), Athan Gibbs, the man who invented the only electronic voting machine with a paper auditing trail all died either violently or in odd accidents -- these were all coincidences! That the list could be longer would not affect Coincidence Theory one whit!

That JFK was murdered a half year after he angrily rejected the Operation Northwoods plan to stage a number of terrorist attacks within the United States to create a national mood that would allow a second and more serious invasion of Cuba after the Bay of Pigs debacle -- that was a coincidence!

That the Codpiece-in-Chief, only weeks after inauguration was planning his invasion of Iraq and setting illegal wiretaps in motion to get dirt on his political enemies, these things having nothing to do with the fact that, two years later, Iraq was invaded and important people in Congress kept silent and even cheered as if they were afraid so that a simple-minded person might think they were being blackmailed -- all these are easily explained by Coincidence Theory!

That the Vigilent Guard exercises in September 2001 depleted the protection of air space in the North East while simulated air liner hijackings confused the remaining air space protection on the same day as Terrible Tuesday -- that was a coincidence!

That the Patriot Act and the entire concept and meme of Homeland Security was pulled up like a rabbit out of a hat not long afterwards -- that was a coincidence!

That the anthrax powder attacks which shortly followed and were ballyhooed to be the work of Iraq, yet when it was soon known the powder could have only been made in an American military laboratory, the perpetrator could not be found -- that was, of course, a coincidence!

That all that was needed to kick-start the Project for the New American Century just happened to fall neatly into place in those days -- these were all happy coincidences!

(Indeed, just so that no weak-minded person gets a silly idea, Operation Northwoods mentioned above was just a practical joke the Joint Chiefs of Staff played on JFK, but, being an East Coast liberal, he didn't see the humor in it!)

That six months after the Taliban government in Afghanistan turned down a deal for a pipeline across their country, they received the "carpet of bombs" they had been promised if they refused the "carpet of gold" in the proposed pipeline deal -- that was a coincidence!

That the man who was then elected as Afghani President by millions of purple fingers, the fact that he was a former energy company executive -- that is also a coincidence!

That there was a simulated terror drill in London, with bomb attacks on busses and the underground the morning of the actual bombings in London July 7, 2005, well, since we all know that simulated terror drills are being held almost daily in London -- this too was obviously a coincidence!

That six cruise missiles were sent in September to an air base in Louisiana which is a staging area for shipments to the Muddled East and that these missiles happened to have 150 kiloton warheads; that it was a month before two military exercises, TOPOFF (a simulated nuclear terror attack in Oregon) and Vigilent Shield (martial law declared in accordance with the Codpiece executive directive from earlier this year) -- all of these things are coincidences!

That somebody out of the loop blew the whistle on the nuke-armed cruise missiles not being where they were supposed to be -- that was not a coincidence, that was an accident!!!

That I post this on October 15, the first day of the 5 day TOPOFF / Vigilent Shield exercises is neither a coincidence nor an accident, although a certain amount of serendipity is involved.

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