Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Corruption in Wudda-Wreck

A strange thing happened in Arrogance, not long before things got serious and what were later known as the Terrible Times began.

Of course, as a citizen of our happier and certainly saner world, you may wonder how one could consider the times up to then not being thought of as "terrible", but the Third Galaxy, although parallel, is not our world and what seems logical to us does not necessarily apply in that world:

If you recall, when the Codpiece-in-Chief clapped his little hands in glee and ordered the invasion of Wudda-Wreck, the Bankers of Illusion, that is the media wept in paroxysms of joy at the thought of all the flowers that would be showered upon Arrogant soldier as the citizens of Wudda-Wreck in overflowing gratitude turned over all their natural resources to Arrogant companies as a small token for having deposed the Evil Dictator, Badass Poosane, giving them Freedom, Liberty, Democracy and purple fingers.

You will also recall, how reality then unfolded in a somewhat different and actually violent ways. Wudda-Wreck descended into chaos, ethnic cleansing, civil war and, not least important, attacks on Arrogant soldiers. Hundreds and then thousands of them were flown home, at night, in flag-wrapped boxes.

Meanwhile, when it became obvious not only that Poosane possessed no Weapons of Mass Immolation and that the prospects of Democracy budding, let alone unfolding, were less than minimal, the reasons for the invasion and the following occupation and disintegration of Wudda-Wreck changed as each preceding reason became untenable. "Creating Democracy" gave way to "Staying the Course" which gave way something else and then something else and finally "Fighting them There so we don't have to Fight Them Here".

Although voices were raised that Arrogance should end its engagement in Wudda-Wreck, the idea was unable to gain political traction -- that is until the "Corruption Story" broke!

Almost overnight, there were stories in the media about the rampant corruption in Iraq and how millions of Arrogant dollars were being stolen by corrupt Wudda-Wrecki politicians, soldiers, policemen and government officials. True, this corruption had been going on since the very beginning of the occupation; true, the Wudda-Wrecki corruption was small potatoes compared to the corruption of the Arrogant companies skimming creamy billion dollar fortunes from the war and occupation -- but the outrage and anger were directed at the people of Wudda-Wreck. To us, that may seem illogical, but logic has little to do with matters of hegemony and power.
The meme grew that "Wudda-Wreck is wasting our $$$$$$s and therefore no longer deserves our Arrogant sacrifices!"

Indeed, the political will was now there to "bring our troops home!" and it would have happened if it had not been for the desire of Rexona to go down in history as a Great Chief and the machinations of his Evil Companion, "Big" Dick Snarly. Monstrous Monday came, Uran was given a demonstration of Shock and Awe, Rexona was annointed Supreme Hole and the Terrible Times began.

Had it not been for the intervention of the Alien Veggies, the fate of that poor world would have been terrible indeed!

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