Monday, March 31, 2008

Cucumber Time...

There is a phrase in the language spoken here in the Happy Little Kingdom which roughly translates to: "Cucumber Time". This refers to the silly season during the summer when there really isn't any news and you get "man-bites-dog" stories blown up as Great News.

Of course, I give little credence to the misinformation and psuedo-science which purports to "prove" the "global warming" hoax. It is sufficient that our Dear Leader thinks little of it and I would trust Him with everything, except my life, bank account and honor -- not necessarily in that order.

However, "Cucumber Time" has fallen upon us here in the Happy Little Kingdom -- and it isn't even April Fools Day!

A fellow in a major political party here, Jesper Cowfoot got himself what we used to call back in Poosah City a "piece of ass". Indeed, he got the tenderloin, in fact if it had been in the United State of Arrogance, he would be finding himself on the way to jail. The sweet lady in question was what we called back then as San Quentin Quail -- she was only 15 years old...

However, in the Happy Little Kingdom the age of consent is 15 -- so, there is no scandal, let alone a criminal case there.

But the Tabloids! The headlines were almost as tall as Jesper's little soldier, when standing at attention.


This World Class News was followed up the next day by informing us that he had not used a rubber and the little girl had to take a pill to exclude the possibility of pregnancy.

Geeze, I'm not a prude and to be rude, if a 15 year old girl, assuming it wasn't in a place like Georgia, offered to grace my old age with some sweet sweet sugar -- well, I'd have to say, wait and see what I would do.

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