Sunday, July 09, 2006

The Bitch of Babylon

The statue pictured here was built by some mega-church led by one of those false prophets we have such abundance of who spout one version or other of a sick substitute for the True Teaching of the Holy Idaho.

The reactions I’ve seen all take umbrage at and express varying levels of outrage over the statue and the message it signals. I disagree most strongly and see no reason to verbally stomp on the church or pile on with snide and snarky comments.

Frankly I think they have come up with a really great idea here for fixing up the real Statue of Liberty! Actually, her name is “Liberty Enlightening the World” and she was given to us by the French people in 1886. She stands upon chains of tyranny from which she has broken free and holds the torch of Liberty and Enlightenment aloft.

That’s all good and nice but kind of dated and quaint. Everybody knows you can’t bring Enlightenment to people with the light of a torch – you torch them with white phosphorus and napalm called by another name and five hundred pound bombs and daisy cutters – that’s the sort of thing that makes them people see the light and get their act together!

Sooo, I humbly suggest we renew Liberty Enlightening the World along the lines of what this mega-church has done.

However, I’d like to put forward a few small suggestions:

1. The metal cross should be replaced with one made of good Arrogant hardwood wrapped in kerosene soaked rags. We’d set fire to it at night and the flames could be seen for miles, way past Ellis Island, striking the Lord’s Terror into the hearts of ungodly heathens, liberals, progressives, gays, lesbians, atheists, environmentalists, femi-nazis, illegal immigrants – it would be a sign to all such sub-human rodents who want to get into our country just so they can gnaw away at our precious Arrogant Homeland values -- a sign for them to stay out!

2. It was a mistake to replace the single keystone tablet with two. I understand that they represent the Ten Commandments and I have no real problem with the fact that Moses was a Jew. The problem is that he is a man and, because the Statue wears flowing robes, some weak souls might think that she/he was transsexual in someway. If there is a sin the Lord really gets His Underwear tied in knots over, it is sexual disorientation. But there is a simple and elegant solution! Keep the keystone tablet but replace the July 4, 1776, inscription with KJV – in gold. That would really rock!

3. While we are at it why not change her name to one more in keeping with the direction in which we seem to be heading and call her The Bitch of Babylon?

I’m really sorry about the mistake! This N.Y. Times article doesn’t really mean that a 76 foot tall “Liberation through Christ” statue has been has been erected in Memphis by the World Overcomers church. No American in their right mind would inscribe “Jehovah” on her crown and say that did all this to remind everybody that God founded America and not the people who founded America. It’s obvious something leaked from the Third Galaxy over into our world.

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