Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Something Really Obscene!

[Yesterday’s report from the Third Galaxy rambled about the supposed obscenity of the human areola, a concept so completely foreign to our world I find it hard to understand why El-Ishman wanted to transmit it.

Today our unemployed angel presents us with a yet another rant about something that would really be obscene, that is if it applied to us here on Earth.]

…in brief, if our leaders manage to send us all to hell, they have planned and expect to sit nice and cozy in the sort of “undisclosed location” that Dick Pennyburton gallivants off to now and then when he wants to get away from the wife.

They live, we die – THAT is obscene!

If Ronald Rexona really screws things up Big Time – and it looks like that’s just about the only thing he does really well! If he screws up Big Time and escalates his incompetence all the way up to and maybe even beyond nuclear world war, do you know what happens?

He scuttles down the rabbit hole along with several thousands of pre-selected people, flacks, hacks, courtiers yes-men and -women, apple-polishers and accomplished ass-lickers – in brief, his government-within-a-government. That is to say when the shit hits the fan, the Supreme Hole, accompanied by a lot of major and minor holes plan to remove themselves to Chambers of Secrecy buried deep and get on with their lives.

One of these locations, deep, self-contained and enormous, is located in Virginia under Mount Weather. They not only have movie theaters, tennis courts, shopping malls, swimming pools and Jacuzzis, they even got a lake down there and places Ronald Rexona can ride his mountain bike! Hell, for all anybody knows, they might even have a golf course!

If push ever comes to shove, it’s here they plan to sit and further plan world conquest, while sipping the occasional dry martini.

Meanwhile, Mr. Nascar Dad, Ms. Soccer Mom, Joe Six-pack and all the rest of us not rich enough to avoid paying taxes, us citizens who paid not only paid for their underground condominiums but also the expensive toys to blow things up with, what about us! At best, we get to find out what it’s like to live under the iron fist of martial law. At worst, we get to play “duck and cover” under the kitchen table as the flash of an airburst burns the clothes off our bodies.

Or, if we are lucky, we can enjoy the exquisite pleasures of acute radiation poisoning as our skin sloughs off and we literally puke our guts out on to the floor in puddles of blood for one to six weeks before we die in utter agony.

The most likely scenario, of course, is a major terraist attack by the minions of Ahsawyah been-Lately who, by some lucky fluke, somehow manage to slip through the nearly non-existent Home Security Defenses our leaders have spent a hundred billion dollars on since Terrible Tuesday when the bad guys dropped twenty tons of horse-shit on us from hot-air balloons.

The difference between establishing dictatorship in a fascist state and a democratic republic is that in a fascist state you only need one Reichstag Fire – in a democratic republic you need at least two or three. In both cases, you need the acquiescence of about 35 % of the population and in neither case is dictatorship announced as anything other than the defense of Freedom and Democracy.

Do you have other suggestions for this class of obscenity?

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