Monday, October 08, 2007

How Rexona Got His Rocks Off

While he was still an ordinary, yet talented, azzhole and ratfugger, Mr. Rexona demonstrated his odd genius in strange ways, talents that he would later need in his ascendancy as Supreme Hole of Arrogance.

We remember, of course, how he giggled and smiled whenever, as governor of what would later become one of the Arrogant States, he signed one of hundreds of death warrants, setting new records of insensitive arrogance under the label of "compassionately conservative".

It is also documented in the 2nd level footnotes of the 21st Edition of the Absolute Truth how he felt a "thrill coursing along his nerve system" as he licked his lips and vetoed the law which would have given basic proactive medical care to millions of children -- in fact, 3rd level footnotes maintain that he muttered, under his breath, "No Child Left Behind! Ha! I poop on them all! Bwah-ha-ha!"

We also know how he clapped his hands in glee and cried "Boy, this shore feels good!" and imagined he was buggering Badass Poosane in the cornhole as he gave the order for penetrating Wudda-Wreck. First level footnotes indicate that he got a hard-on as the Shock and Awe bombardment of Bodybagh was shown on television, in color...

But when he smiled and sent the Weapons of Mass Immolation to desolate Uran, it is absolutely confirmed that he creamed in his jeans -- his remark then was, "A fella's gotta get his kicks where he can gettem, ya know!"

A glimpse of something of what Rexona destroyed:

(You can see more at the Unapologetic Mexican)

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