I received in my email a despicable little screed attributed to the comedian George Carlin which, in fact, has nothing to do with Mr. Carlin. According to Snopes, it has been circulating on the internet since at least August 2006.
The screed proposes to somehow "Save gasoline" by deporting 11 million "illegal" immigrants and bringing the troops home from Iraq to "guard the border". Anybody caught trying to sneak over "the border" will be given a weapon and sent to Iraq after signing a pledge of patriotism and a promise to pay taxes -- if they won't sign the pledge, they get sent to Iraq anyway, but without a gun.
First of all, undocumented immigrants contribute more to the American economy than they take out -- not only do they pay into the public coffers, but they enjoy few benefits.
There is a hate campaign spreading in the US which comes from right wing extremist groups and outright fascist elements. This campaign is basically racist but it has been embraced, supported and, most important, legitimized by mainstream right wing political actors, pundits and think tanks.
Why? Because it sets those near the bottom of the economic ladder against those who are on a lower rung, maybe not even on the on the ladder. This is a repeat of what happened in the latter part of the 19th century the whites against the blacks and certain immigrant groups from Europe. Fascism was born in America -- it is the dark side of our otherwise magnificent heritage.
On the other hand, this screed is ridiculous!
How do we save gasoline, by deporting people or sending them half way around the world to Iraq? With my meager talents for snark and dark satire I fancy I could do better. So, here is my:
"Modest Proposal"
A savings on gasoline would be peanuts compared to what we could cash in on with a really serious solution to the problem with undocumented immigrants:
Why waste fuel shipping "illegal" immigrants all over the world?
Why not put them in camps surrounded by razor wire and armed guards with mean dogs?
True, this would entail a certain investment up front -- but I'm sure that Halliburton would be quite willing to accept yet another no-bid contract to build a few more detention facilities. Heck, we'd only need to extend the ones they already building with a capacity for 450,000 "detainees" in the event of some unnamed "national emergency.
This could be so cool!
We could make them wear funny striped black and white or bright orange clothes so they couldn't run away very far if they escaped their "relocation centers". Then, we could farm them out to do the same work they are doing today -- but without pay!
During the day they could continue to pick farm produce, be sent to clean rooms in motels and hotels and do nanny and cleaning work in private homes. Even better, they could continue to work in sweat shops assembling toy parts, putting a few stitches on garments made overseas and then paste a label on them "Made in the USA".
Since you don't need to pay people in camps any wages except enough food to keep them going until they collapse from exhaustion, this could be so cost effective we could maybe become competitive with the Chinese and bring some of them jobs back that disappeared overseas!
Heck, why stop with immigrants? There are all sorts, homeless veterans would surely benefit from some honest work, a bed to sleep on and a square meal a day! People who talk against the government would benefit also -- gathered in one place, they would have some body to talk to who agreed with their crazy ideas. There are enormous possibilities here!
[If you have a barf bag ready and are so inclined, you can read the screed that sent me off on this rant]
George Carlin's Solution to Save Gasoline
Bush wants us to cut the amount of gas we use.....
The best way to stop using so much gas is to deport 11 million illegal immigrants!
That would be 11 million less people using our gas. The price of gas would come down.....
Bring our troops home from Iraq to guard the Border....
When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the border, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to Iraq ...
Tell him if he wants to come to America then he must serve a tour in the military....
Give him a soldier's pay while he's there and tax him on it.....
After his tour, he will be allowed to become a citizen since he defended this country.....
He will also be registered to be taxed and be a legal patriot..... .
This option will probably deter illegal immigration and provide a solution for the troops in Iraq and the aliens trying to make a better life for themselves.. ....
If they refuse to serve, ship them to Iraq anyway, without the canteen, rifle or ammo.....
Problem solved.....
If you think this is a good solution to both the problems, forward it to your friends. ...........
I just did.........
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment