Monday, March 03, 2008

An Abject Apology to Bush Lite

I apologize!

I am so ashamed for the snarky things I wrote about Mr. Bush-Lite, a.k.a. Anders Fogh Rasmussen, the other day. I both deeply and abjectly apologize.

First of all, I snarked that Anders Fogh had, except for a few measly contracts gotten very little in repayment for the Danish lives wasted in Wudda-Wreck and on the rocky plains of the Helmand province in Farawaystan -- that was a mistake and I apologize!

Not only did Bush-Lite and his wife get to enjoy a real Arrogant hamburger prepared by the nimble hands of the Codpiece Himself, they got to sleep overnight on the ranch. But, best of all, Bush-Lite got to ride a mountain bike alongside the Codpiece -- twice! -- once in the evening sunset and once in the morning sunrise! To top it all off, the Codpiece actually praised Bush-Lite, saying that Anders Fogh had not even broken out in a sweat!

In return, Anders Fogh was allowed to ask the Codpiece about the crossing of Danish airspace and actual landing of Arrogant airplanes on Danish soil, planes which carried prisoners being extraordinarily rendered -- that is, being sent to dark foreign places where they would be tortured. The Codpiece smiled his strange smile which some call a smirk and replied, "I'll ask them to look into it..."

To show his gratitude, Bush-Lite said, "You, Mr. Prez and the Unified State of Arrogance have done more than any other to promote this vision of freedom and democracy throughout the world, please let me praise you for that!"

Ah yes, the Codpiece is a real piece of work when it comes to defending freedom! What can we do but praise Anders Fogh for having drawn attention to this only slightly indisputable fact? For only a brave leader such as the Codpiece would have the gall to veto law which requires all Arrogant agencies to abide by and follow the guidelines in the Universal code of Military Justice which prohibits such fun pastimes as:

Forcing a prisoner to be naked, perform sexual acts or pose in a sexual manner.
Placing hoods or sacks over the head of a prisoner, and using duct tape over the eyes.
Applying beatings, electric shocks, burns or other forms of physical pain.
Using military working dogs.
Inducing hypothermia or heat injury.
Conducting mock executions.
Depriving a prisoner of necessary food, water or medical care.

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