Sunday, April 27, 2008

Quadrennial Horse Races, Final Heats...

Meanwhile, in the Happy Little Kingdom, as I peek out the window over the Big Puddle towards the United State of Arrogance, I wonder -- are they going bonkers over there? Is it something they put in the water or, more likely, the soda-pop?

The purported purpose of the Quadrennial Horse Races is to end up with someone who can take upon themselves the burden of being for at least four years the most powerful person on our poor world.

As it now stands, Mad Kane has long been basking in the glory of being the candidate of the Repugnant Party -- we have only to wait until the Autumn when he will be annointed by the spewing of approbations by all the major poobahs of the Repugnant Party, each of them trying to outdo the others in saying ridiculous inanities about why a fellow who, at certain phases of the Moon rabidly froths at the mouth would make a cool Prez..

As for the Dumbrats, the show still goes on between the front-runner, Bulimo Charisma and Pillory Flintstone.

In Arrogance, they have a most peculiar custom of televised debates between politicians seeking voter support for the same office. Well, it's not debates in themselves -- many countries have televised debates -- no, it's the manner it which the debates unfold and in particular the kind of questions asked.

I won't go into the details, as to recollect too much of these shows is liable to induce nausea in all but the most strong stomached.

However, can you possibly imagine why, national television, a candidate is asked why they don't wear a flag pin on their lapel? Can you understand the importance of asking a candidate why they laugh so much?

Indeed, can you imagine a commentator in a sane society exclaiming, as a candidate scratches his cheek with his middle finger, "Why, he's throwing a bird to the sound technicians!!!"

Ah, yes, I understand -- I mean, I understand that I have entirely misunderstood what these seances are all about!

The purpose is not find a person suited to assume the most powerful office in the world. The purpose is to find someone who can fill the cod of the Codpiece and become the next incarnation of the Supreme Hole. Mad Kane is, hands splayed, the candidate who best fits the bill. True, both Bulimo and Pillory have said they might bomb Youran, but Mad Kane is the one we can be confident will not only remain in Wudda-Wreck until it is as flat as a billiard table, but will also bomb Youran into submission -- or dust, which ever comes first...

Therefore, I predict that, by hook or crook, by preemptive strikes or by conveniently timed terra attacks -- Mad Kane will be, in not elected, at least selected as the next Prez of the United State of Arrogance. For only he can fearlessly lead us into yet more ill-advised wars and military adventures.

Of course, I do hope I'm completely wrong!

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