Gender of Inanimate Objects

Although, unlike many other languages, English does not have gender specific definite and indefinite articles, we give many inanimate objects a gendered pronoun when they are referred to in the third person.

For example, a ship is referred to as "she" or with the possessive pronoun "her". Why we do this sort of thing I suppose is because hhumans have an innate tendency to anthropomorphise every thing from our God(s) to the kitchen sink.

Anyway, a wag once quipped that ships are "she" because, when one comes to a harbor, she goes after the buoys -- this inspired someone with much too much time on their hands to figure out through logical induction, the gender of many other inanimate objects.

FREEZER BAGS: male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them...

PHOTOCOPIERS: female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons...

TIRES: male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated...

HOT AIR BALLOONS: male, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their ass...

SPONGES: female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water...

WEB PAGES: female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on...

TRAINS: male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people...

EGG TIMERS: female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom..

HAMMERS: male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around...

REMOTE CONTROL: female, they easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying...